I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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