You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
