but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
