real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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