In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
