and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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