who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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