i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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