ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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