You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I FOUND THE LEGS
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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