you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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