You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
