It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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