Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
