Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
