Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
