Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
