Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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