I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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