You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
