Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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