You work out of a Hotel?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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