going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
