My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
