your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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