With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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