They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I want a musical about memes.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
