giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
