there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
