There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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