I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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