This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
