Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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