i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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