names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
