Kiss
Puke
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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