Having a random hookup so left but love u
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
