and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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