K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
