wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
