we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Green mimosas i think yes
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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