I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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