so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
