U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
