I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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