He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
