i just wanna soil my oats bro
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize