I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
