two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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