can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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