i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
