So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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