Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
