just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
3pm strippers are depressing
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
