Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
