i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
