I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
