found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
