im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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